Neural Clips
by Himonky
Summary: What are they for? Who do they remind her of? What significance do they have in Asuka's life? What was once just why she wore them is now the ending of a stage of life, growth out of childhood.
1. 1

Something I whipped up in an hour, akin to Dartz-IRL's SDAT oneshot.

A Three Muskateers Work

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Shinji rose early. He always had and always would, despite his recent onset of puberty. No sir, no sleeping till noon for him. Some people might enjoy that, but Shinji couldn't stand wasting all the time that a new morning brought him. To him, the morning was the best part of the day.

He could accomplish so much before anyone else was even awake. Cook, clean and get all of his responsibilities done before anyone else even had a chance. The morning was a time of work for Shinji. He told everyone it was so he could relax the rest of the day.

But the truth was that he liked the morning because he worked during it. Being busy was enjoyable to him, as long as it wasn't to the point of causing him anxiety. Washing plates and clothes put him in a happy place where he felt like he accomplished something. Like he was really worth something, despite the fact that he was rarely praised for it.

But this wasn't the only reason he enjoyed the mornings. The lack of certain aspects of his daily life from the morning made him enjoy it.

It was before he had to go to NERV and see Eva. Before he had to get inside of the monster and train in it. Before he had to put up with Ritsuko and his father's gaze.

It was before he had to put up with Misato, Asuka, Touji and Kensuke teasing him about a million and a half things. Before everyone else would question his actions and make him feel worthless. It was before everyone would make him feel weak and before he would question his own actions.

The morning was a time Shinji put aside for himself. He could feel good about his life during it. He could accomplish something. It was all his.

So when he exited his room at 5:30 AM, he was surprised and somewhat disappointed to find Asuka slumped over on the kitchen table, books and notes strewn everywhere. Disappointed, and a little frightened.

It was his time of the day. He was supposed to be in his happy place right now, not having to worry about why Asuka was asleep on the table.

"I told Misato letting her go back to college was a mistake," he whispered to himself. She'd clearly been up all night studying for a test the next day.

Shit. There was no way he'd be able to cook breakfast without waking her up. Additionally, he wouldn't be able to wash clothes or feed Pen Pen because Asuka was asleep on the table.

His whole world collapsed at what he thought was surely the ruining of his day. He gave a soft groan and sat down at the table.

'She isn't even awake and she's thrown my whole day into chaos' he thought with a soft smile.

He really tried not to look at her to closely. For the first few minutes he glanced idly around the room, wondering how early he could wake her up and how loudly she would shriek when she found that she'd been sleeping in the same room as him.

But eventually his eyes ran out of lines to follow or floor tiles to count. At first it was just a small glance, but his eyes soon returned to her again. She stirred slightly and Shinji managed to immediately avert his eyes and give a soft cough as an excuse, in case she would awaken.

But she just moved slightly, her hair blocking her face and quite a bit of her body from view.

Shinji blinked when he noticed that she was still wearing her neural clips. In fact, he realized that he'd only seen her without them when showering and going to bed. She wore them every day. The same pair, as far as he knew. 'She must've forgotten to take them out last night,' he realized.

He wondered why she wore them all the time.

Was it to show off? She certainly didn't need to wear the neural clips for that. Every kid in the school knew she was an Eva pilot and knew who she was. The guys for slightly less jealous reasons than the girls, though no more pure. And she always said that she didn't need other people's attention, that she was strong enough to live on her own.

Was it to connect her with Eva? People at NERV knew she was a pilot as well. She had to be, otherwise she'd never have been permitted to enter the base. Everyone knew that. And it wasn't like Asuka went anywhere besides school or NERV very often, so it couldn't be for outsiders. She most likely wouldn't care to impress them anyway.

Was it just as an accessory? To keep her hair back and match her hair? No, Asuka would never wear the same thing everyday if they didn't have another purpose. She'd have another reason besides this one, at the very least.

Leaning over, something besides Asuka and her hair caught Shinji's eye. It was one of the books. It had a picture of a red haired female in a lab coat, standing next to a sign that said Gehirn in large block letters, followed by some smaller words that Shinji decided were in German. He couldn't even guess the meaning.

The text title said the reading was about advanced biology and transferring mental signals over distances using small transmitters.

That was as far as Shinji got before he realized that the page was slightly damp. He blinked in surprise. 'Why would the page be damp in certain spots?'

…

Nah, couldn't be. Asuka must've spilled some water or something on it.

Shinji went back to the picture, examining the woman. He decided she looked vaguely like Asuka. He read the caption below the woman's picture.

**Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu: Credited with the major break through in brainwave transmission technology, Dr. Soryu created the first small scale mental wave transmission systems for the UN project Gehirn.**

Shinji blinked in surprise. Asuka's mother? She'd invented the neural clips?

No wonder she always wore them. Shinji realized that she wore them for a different reason then he'd ever expected. It was from homesickness. It was from missing something that was far away and that she might not be going back to for a long time.

Shinji felt a slight pang in his heart as he realized that Asuka really had been crying on the page. She'd been thinking of her mother, wondering when she'd ever get to see her again. Shinji found he could relate, despite the fact that his own mother was dead.

The absence in his life, much longer than he supposed Asuka's must've been, still hurt him after the bulk of his life. He'd managed to become comfortably numb to it eventually, but Asuka had moved from Germany only a few months ago.

'She must be homesick,' he realized.

Then Asuka's breathing changed slightly. Her mouth opened and she licked her lips, though her eyes stayed closed. One of her arms moved on the table, showing that she really was awake.

Shinji sounded a full retreat. Panicking slightly, he tried to exit the room as quickly as he could, staying quiet and not drawing attention to himself. Needless to say about the last part, he was rather good at it.

Asuka stretched her arms and yawned, then looked back at the book. Through half awake eyes, she felt a sudden urge to slam it closed and put it away. She didn't want to start again this early. Shinji or Misato might be awake.

She got up and went to her room to sleep for the final hour and a half before she'd have to get up.

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Shinji heard Asuka open the door to her room and then close it.

He sat on the floor on his room and pondered whether or not he should get up and cook breakfast and take care of his chores. But, after a little thinking, he decided that he really wasn't in the mood to wash clothes anymore.

He smiled. "She doesn't even know it and she's messing with my life."

Then he got up to go start breakfast, knowing that his pleasant quiet morning was already partway over. Soon Misato and Asuka would wake up, this time for the whole day, and he'd have to deal with his tiny little insecurities.

But he didn't see the morning as wasted. He was glad to have learnt something about Asuka. Even if it had messed up his morning.

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A bit different than anything I'd tried before, but I enjoyed it. What's everyone think?


	2. 2

This one was a bit more than an hour. Should I have bothered to extend it?

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Neural Clips

By Himonky2012

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva, I just like to write about it.

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Shinji lay in his bed for a long time, considering his morning's discovery. As strange as it was, he felt bad for his roommate.

'Asuka may be a bitch sometimes,' he thought, 'but it's just because she misses her parents, same as me.'

It felt strange to Shinji to think that he and Asuka had something similar on that depth. Usually she seemed so much better than him, so distant. Especially since the fifteenth angel. Shinji found it strange that on at least one level, he was her equal.

He knew the pain Asuka must've been feeling. He didn't remember when his mother died, but knew that he had cried for days and always carried a small shard of pain in his heart. Eventually the pain had shrunk to a dull ache, similar to what Shinji guessed Asuka must have been feeling now.

Shinji found himself wanting to do something to reduce Asuka's pain. He knew what it felt like to miss your mother, and wouldn't have wished it on anyone. He knew there had to be something he could do to make Asuka miss her mother less. Something to make her happy.

Something different occurred to Shinji.

It was very different than anything he'd ever have considered before that morning. If he hadn't found the tears on the page, the picture of Asuka's mother and the neural clips on Asuka's head he never would've considered it.

'I,' he thought, 'should try and get Asuka some time to go visit Germany and her mother.'

And that thought took root in his mind. It sprouted thoughts and possibilities of its own. It grew until it consumed his whole mind. Shinji lay there for a whole hour, considering just how best to achieve his goal. How he could make Asuka happy.

Eventually he decided that there was only one real way to do it. Shinji had to go to the man in charge and convince him that he could defend the whole of NERV without Asuka. Shinji knew he'd have to call in every favor he could…but that it might work out.

He was even willing to face down his father to accomplish it.

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Gendo Ikari examined the third child closely. The two of them stood in his office, Shinji standing twenty feet away while Gendo was in his preferred position. Gendo briefly considered sticking his finger into his ear in order to clean it out, but decided against it.

There was no way Shinji had just said what Gendo thought he had just said.

"What?"

"I want you to send Asuka back to Germany."

There it was again. That urge to clean out his ear so that he could hear the third child clearly. Because, while Shinji was pretty stupid, Gendo doubted that he would be dumb enough to meddle in the second child's life.

"Send her back to Germany?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely not."

Shinji looked like he'd expected this. Gendo ignored the feeling to clean his ears out long enough to take a small bit of pride in the fact that his son had managed to anticipate something.

The reasons why Asuka couldn't leave were plentiful. First, she was an active pilot for NERV. She might've been the worst of the three, but there was no way Gendo could lower NERV's operational strength for a silly request by his son. An angel or SEELE could attack at any time.

"Just for a little while."

Now it made a **little** bit more sense. Still not very much, but at least now it was clear that Shinji didn't plan to kick Asuka out of NERV for good. Still, there was the second reason. Shinji would certainly not want to send the second child back to Germany because of the bad memories she certainly associated with the place.

"What for?"

"I think she misses her family."

Gendo restrained the urge to raise an eyebrow. He'd talked to Dr. Soryu and knew there was little love lost between him and his daughter. Gendo found it unlikely that Asuka would wish to see the man.

The chances of the two Soryus wishing to see each other were about the chance of Gendo taking Shinji out on a picnic. In fact, the relationships between father and child in both families were nearly identical. Both children had a disdain for their fathers as a result of the death of their mothers, and both fathers did not have time for their children. Gendo suspected that Dr. Soryu had read the same book on parenting that he had.

"I assume you are aware of the situation between Asuka and her father."

"I'm not worried about her and her father. And I don't care about her step-mother either. I think she misses her real mother."

Gendo Ikari's mouth nearly fell half-way open behind his hands. His eyes were as wide as they'd been in years. His mouth suddenly felt very dry and he ached for an excuse to go get a glass of water. Or any reason to leave the room.

It would be awkward to talk to Shinji about this. Especially since it might eventually lead the conversation to what had happened to Shinji's own mother. 'Another similarity between our families,' Gendo mused. Both mothers had died in freak Evangelion related accidents.

"I-uh…"

What the hell was he supposed to say? Gendo might command all of NERV, but it was hardly his place to explain to Shinji that Asuka's mother was dead. That was up to her. Gendo might be arrogant from time to time, but he knew where to draw the line around his place of power. This was well outside of it.

But here he was, forced to explain to Shinji why Asuka couldn't be flown half-way around the world, or all the way around for the good it would do, to visit her mother. After searching vainly for any way to escape the act of Shinji eventually finding out, he decided there was another way.

Make a subordinate tell him.

It seemed simple enough. As the commander, it was only natural for Gendo to delegate jobs to his subordinates. Some jobs more so than others.

'Especially this one,' he justified himself.

"She may go…pending-" Who would be appropriate? Ah, yes, the major. She lived with Shinji and should therefore be the logical choice. "-Major Katsuragi explains to you why it may be a bad idea."

Shinji's face lit up with joy. "Thank you father," he said before turning and exiting the office.

Gendo put a hand to his head. 'I'm getting to old for shocks like that,' he thought.

And then, as the echo of Shinji's foot steps faded out, Gendo couldn't stop comparing how the Ikari and Soryu families were similar. The fathers, the mothers, and in a few important ways the children.

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Shinji walked home immediately after talking with his father and found Misato in the kitchen, wearing her flight jacket and work clothes, and eating one of her instant meals.

'Might as well get this over with.'

"Misato." He sat down at the kitchen table across from her.

She looked up momentarily from her lunch. "Yes Shinji?"

"I just got back from talking with my father."

"Oh?" she stopped eating and gave him her full attention, "And how did that go?"

"Pretty well."

Misato smiled at the good news and turned back to eating. She had just taken a bite of her instant meal when Shinji spoke again.

"I talked to him about letting Asuka go visit Germany for a while."

Misato nearly spit her mouthful of food onto Shinji. Instead, she managed to swallow it all down. "You want to what!?" Her eyes were wide and she was half-way to standing, her hands pressed down hard against the table.

"I found Asuka in here this morning, asleep. She cried herself to sleep last night because of a picture in one of her books. It was of her mother. I think she misses her."

Misato's eyes returned to their usual size as she sank back into the chair. No matter their size, they were strangely unable to meet Shinji's. Her head turned to the side and she examined the floor tiles closely. "I…she does. But it's not like that."

"What do you mean it's not like that? She was crying over the picture Misato. She must be homesick. I think she should get some time to go home and see her mother."

"I can see why you might think that." Misato's voice was barely a whisper as she contemplated what she might have to do here. On one hand, it was Asuka's secret and she would've told Shinji if she'd wanted him to know. On the other, Shinji might not stop doing this until he found out for real.

"Why wouldn't I think that? Is it wrong somehow?"

"No…and yes."

The silence stayed thick for a few moments, both of them wondering what they should do.

Finally, "What do you mean?"

"…"

"Misato. What did you mean?"

"It's not really my place to tell you Shinji. This is Asuka's business. You should ask her about it. But be careful…it's a touchy subject."

Shinji was thoroughly confused. "Misato…I just want to get her some free time so she can go visit Germany. First father, and now you…why is everyone treating this like it's a big deal? I just want to help her."

Misato gave a small smile and managed to turn and face Shinji briefly. She reached out and took his hand in both of hers, eyes examining it. "Yeah, I know you just want to help." She glanced up for a second before returning her eyes to his hand, where she was tracing his palm. "But there are parts of Asuka's past that you don't know about. Parts that would make it hard for her to go and visit her mother. Or Germany at all."

"Parts? What parts?"

Misato shook her head softly. "It's not my place to tell you this."

Shinji was getting frustrated. He didn't understand why no one would tell why doing this was a bad idea. As far as he understood, there was no reason for Asuka to not want to go back to Germany for a visit. He just wanted to make her happy and everyone was acting like it was an awesomely complex conspiracy or something.

His frustration must've begun to show on his face, because Misato managed to offer a few more words. "I'm sorry. Ask her about it if you think you have to know."

Shinji got up from his seat and began to walk towards the door to the apartment. He was putting his shoes on when Misato spoke next. "Where are you going?"

"Just out for a walk."

Misato could tell from his voice that he had somehow been hurt. His eyes seemed stuck on the floor panels as he opened the door and exited the apartment.

"I'm sorry," she said again before he closed the door. She was.

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Well, since a lot of people seem to like Chap 1, I decided to extend it. As this leaves off, there will be at least one more chapter. Depending on what people think I may make it a bit longer than that.

Kudos for this chapter go to Tylec Asroc, who gave me an idea of how to continue this in his review.


	3. Never Too Late

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Look who finally got around to writing something . . . Me!

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He knelt on the ground, confused and surprised at the sudden revelation. Looking at the cold black obelisk, he wondered how he hadn't been able to see it coming.

His hands clutched at the grass in front of the burial marker, head and mind reeling, finally making realizations and connecting dots that should've been connected long before then. The obvious was now clear to him and he'd been so stupid to miss it in the first place. There had been clear signs, he had just missed them.

Like how she had never directly spoken of her mother before the trip. Sure, she had mentioned her step-mother and father a couple of times, but she had never spoken about their relationship, about actually missing her.

He had been such an idiot, jumping to conclusions. Just because a page had been wet did not mean that she was homesick. A few months from home did not mean that she wanted to visit her family. If she would not tell him why visiting her mother was a bad idea, it was not for him to say otherwise. He did not know what went on in her life and he should not have tried to do this.

Even if his intentions had been the very best, it was not his place to decide what was best for her. Now, rather than make her happy, she was going to be hurt. His stupidity had certainly called up memories for her, ones that she had likely tried to keep buried, like his with his own mother and father. Now the pained looks and the frowns all made sense. She must hate him, all because he had just wanted to help her out of something he knew could hurt.

Through the breeze and the rustle of the grass he could just make out footsteps. For the most part he ignored them, entranced by the words "Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu" on the stone and his own personal insecurities. These various doubts were storming over his brain, causing his fragile mind to crawl into the equivalent of a fetal position. His body considered this, but did not comply entirely. Instead, the bulk of his weight remained on his hands and knees, his head now sinking down from looking at the gravestone. He stared at the ground and his hands, which were covered in dirt.

Thinking back, he could now understand why everyone had shied away from answering his questions. It had not been their place to tell him, nor his place to know. 'They must've thought I was so stupid,' he thought, 'even to ask about it. It almost seems like I was the only one who didn't know the truth.'

The footsteps stopped behind him and slightly to his right. Unsteadily, he glanced over for a brief moment, removing his gaze when he confirmed his suspicion of who it was. Right now he could not bear to look at her. In his arrogance he'd gotten her to come back to Germany, thinking the trip to be for her own good. He'd forced her to do something that was now very clearly bad for her.

For a moment he was bothered about why she hadn't told him the truth. But after a moment's consideration he understood. He wasn't worthy of her trust. After all, how many times had he betrayed it in the past? The way things were right now, it was obvious to him that her telling him would've been a very big mistake on her part. He would have betrayed her trust in some way, intentional or not. Shinji Ikari could not be trusted.

But, trust-worthy or not, he knew the truth now.

She was standing to his right, not moving or saying anything. For a long moment nothing happened. Neither of them spoke.

To Shinji, it seemed like time had stopped in order to torture him more. He wanted her to yell at him, to call him names, to hit him and blame him for the emotional pain that he knew she would be feeling now, to cry out and say she never wanted to see him again, to tell him that he had ruined the trip, to do anything, since anything would have been better than the silence. A thousand insults would have been preferable to the silent treatment he was receiving.

But she just stood there. While his eyes were averted from her, he could tell she was still there because of the sound her sundress made in the wind. He knew that her eyes were on one of two things; him or the grave-stone. He didn't know which one would be worse.

''Gomen.'' His voice shot out his conditioned response for nearly everything. As soon as he'd said it, he assumed it had been the wrong thing to say.

It was what Asuka hated to hear him say, almost sure to get a response from her, albeit a negative one. Even though saying gomen was supposed to calm the situation and signify that Shinji had made a mistake, more often than not he used it to try to avoid confrontation, or so he'd been told repeatedly by Asuka and Misato. Whether or not this was true, Shinji realized too late that "gomen" was not what Asuka would want to hear here.

It also almost always caused Asuka to get angry at him. Later, Shinji would look back and think that he had wanted her to get angry at him. He already knew it would have been better than the silence.

But even that statement did not waken her to anger. After a moment, Shinji turned his head, glancing over to see whatever she was doing. What he saw left him momentarily speechless.

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Neural Clips

EvSoc writer: Himonky

Significant contributions and proofreading by Eric Blair

Chapter 3: Never Too Late

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Shinji had gone out on a walk around Tokyo-3. He needed to think about what Misato and his father had told him, or rather what they had not told him. Walking around the city was the best way to do this because it let him lose himself in his own thoughts. There was no method to his route; he was too lost in thought to care where he ended up.

He'd done this only once before in Tokyo-3, just after the fourth angel and a harsh chewing out from Misato. Then, his question had been whether or not he should continue to pilot the Evangelion. Now it was whether or not he should risk talking to Asuka about her mother.

As he walked down a street, past a marked Evangelion launch point, his hands stuffed into his pockets, he wondered what would make Misato hesitate to advise him. Why, if Asuka did have some sort of bad history with her parents, Misato would not tell him outright that any trip to Germany was a bad idea. And, if there were no such reason, she would hesitate to tell him if it was a good idea.

All he'd been told to do was talk to Asuka about it, but Shinji could barely even consider this. His relationship with Asuka was much more complex than Misato or his father could possibly know. He couldn't just walk up to her and order her to go visit her mother like either of them could. Most likely, she wouldn't even sit and listen if he tried to explain his reasoning to her.

The worst part had been that, while they had not told him it was a good idea, Misato and his father had not come straight out and told him it was a bad idea. If they had, he would've had a perfect excuse not to talk to Asuka about it. Shinji didn't know if he should feel relief that neither of his sources had told him not to bring it up, but he did know that he was confused and thoroughly worried by their lack of answers.

It was times like this that he wished Kaji was still around. No one else seemed to understand Asuka as well as he had. Kaji might've been honest with him, told him why not to talk to Asuka, or why to, though in the back of his head he knew that even from Kaji he wouldn't have gotten a completely straight answer. Shinji felt that even a small hint would've helped enormously, that even a third opinion would've helped his decision.

'I should just go find her and ask,' he thought, 'and end all of this once and for all. It really wouldn't be that hard. I'd just have to ask her if she'd like to go visit her family in Germany. Plain and simple, just like that.'

But still, he hesitated.

There were so many things that could go wrong. While his father and Misato had not said why, Shinji had managed to figure out that there was at least one reason why it was a bad idea. He didn't know what it was, but Misato and father wouldn't have acted that way if there wasn't one.

And besides, Asuka definitely wasn't going to ask for his help, far from it. If offered, she'd more likely throw him out of the apartment than accept it. In his minds eye, it was becoming harder and harder to imagine himself successfully explaining this to Asuka.

'Bite the bullet,' one part of him said, 'you want to know, you've got to ask her. There's no other way it's going to happen, it's not just going to fall into your lap.'

It might.

'Stop being so childish,' he was chided, 'you've got to do this yourself. No one else can do it for you. If you want to help her, you've got to risk some trouble.'

He did want to help her. He always wanted to help her. But that didn't mean that he did. Often, he would only make the situation worse than it already was by his "helping".

'When has that ever stopped you from helping someone before?'

Lots of times. Lots of good times, when I would've made bad situations even worse. I go by my gut, it tells me when people need to be helped, and when they don't need to be. Sometimes helping is just a bad idea.

'Ah, you think that you know. So, what's your gut tell you then?'

Dam. Outsmarted by himself.

Deep down inside of himself, in an area in no way related to his gut, Shinji felt that Asuka needed help. That was why he was so worried about it; he knew she needed whatever help she could get, but that she would never accept it.

'But she doesn't have to accept it, she just needs to receive it. We don't want rewards from this, right? Just to help her. Well then, she doesn't even need to know we were the ones helping her out.'

It sounded like an escape plan to Shinji. If things got too hot, he could always bail out. But at the same time, he couldn't, because he knew Asuka needed his help. Whether she knew it or not.

Yeah . . . he could find another way. Already, one was beginning to form in the recesses of his mind.

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Things were heating up.

Shinji had gone to walk Asuka back from her summer college, which had gotten him a strange look from her and, after a few laughs and jokes from her class-mates, an angry one. Now they were walking back from the school. They were almost halfway back already, and all Asuka had done so far was walk with her eyes straight ahead, her mouth in a thin line. But her anger, be it from embarrassment of being seen with him, or plain annoyance at Shinji, was evident with the tense silence they kept walking in, Shinji having tried to give Asuka time to cool off before initiating the conversation.

''What? Anta Baka?!''

Apparently not enough time.Things were heating up fast.

She's going to hit me, he decided. He backed away from her as she approached him. Shinji nervously raised his hands up front in a curious mix between a defensive position, and the physical body language of apologizing, thought anyone not knowing would say he was groveling. Judging from the look on her face, he was going to need them for the former more than the latter.

''I, uh, just wanted to know if you would like some vacation time,'' he stuttered out. 'Probably should have phrased it that way the first time,' he thought to himself.

Asuka stopped her approach and eyed him wearily, leaning forward. Shinji decided she was waiting for an explanation. Then his brain made the miraculous decision to actually give her one.

''W-well, it just seems like we've been stuck in Tokyo-3 for so long that I thought you would like to get out for a week or so.''

She shifted backwards, placing her hands on her hips, the sun behind her creating an intimidating appearance. To Shinji, it seemed like she was towering over him, even though he was actually a little taller than her now. Her face held a look of annoyance and bitterness, a scowl with lowered eyebrows.

''You know we're not allowed out of the city dummkopf. You do remember getting left behind on the Okinawa trip, right?'' She said snarkily, remembering how that trip had been taken from her and how he had not even raised his hands to defend that right. ''An angel might attack at any time, so the commander wouldn't let us go out of town, let a lone out of the country.''

''I know . . .''

Asuka sneered and began to turn away from him when she thought he had finished, only to snap back to looking at him when he spoke again.

''…which is why I got his permission before mentioning it to you.''

''Mein Gott! You mean we can actually go?''

He nodded quickly since he knew this was the easiest way to guide her towards a safer mood. That and it was the truth.

''Yeah, father said we could.''

Asuka's eyes grew from slits to regular sizes, her mouth dropped the scowl and moved towards something much more shocked. Her eyebrows were raised. ''How did you manage to convince him to do that?'' Then her eyes narrowed a bit again, not as low as before, but back into what Shinji would call the "danger-zone". ''Did this have anything to do with those pictures I caught you stooges selling a while ago?'' her tone probing and hinting doom.

''What?'' He blushed and blinked. ''O-of course not!''

''Ha! So you admit you were selling them with those two!''

''Wha-No!'' He shouted.

Asuka shook her head. ''Pervert.''

Shinji grabbed his head with his arms. ''Gah! I did not sell those pictures back then, and I definitely didn't give, show or trade any of them to my dad!''

Asuka smirked again, though this time it was a much happier smirk. ''Fine then. How did you get us the vacation time then Shinji?''

Shinji shrank into himself, folding his hands and fidgeting. To be perfectly honest, he wasn't entirely sure how he had gotten permission. His dad had seemed strange during the whole conversation, and if Shinji thought he knew him better he'd have said he was shocked.

''Well?''

''I-a, just asked, I guess.''

Asuka blinked. ''You just asked?''

''Yeah.''

''Wow Shinji, I never would've thought to try that. Your being so stupid finally pays off!'' She spun around and pointed to the East. ''So, if we get vacation, I guess it's off to America!''

Shinji blinked and gave a mental groan. 'I should've known she wants to pick where we go.'

Shinji didn't have any problems with America personally, though he had heard it was filled with pompous assholes from none to few sources. No matter what though, he definitely didn't want to go there now, that would be against the whole point of doing this in the first place.

''Uh, we can't go to America.''

Asuka spun back around like a red tornado. ''What do you mean we can't go to America?''

''We-uh, have to go to Germany.''

''What for? I grew up in Germany, it'll be boring going back there. Neither of us has been to the US yet, so we might as well go there. Besides, I've always wanted to visit some of my relatives that live in the US.And who ever heard of a vacation where you can't pick where you go to?'' she suddenly looked at him as if she were trying to get into his mind, ''What are you keeping from me third?''

''We have to go to Germany . . . Father commanded it,'' he blurted out, lying through his teeth. 'You had to,' part of him soothed, 'she'll forgive you when she meets up with her mother again.' Improvising, that was the word he wanted to think. While he had originally planned to just tell Asuka they were going to Germany, he was going to have to change things around now.

''Ordered it, huh?'' A couple second pause. ''What for?''

Now Shinji had options. In theory, he could say the commander had ordered her to visit her parents. In theory, Asuka would have to follow this order and all of Shinji's worries would be gone.

But it didn't seem to him like it would work like that. More likely, Asuka would grab some sort of weapon and go after the commander, or him, for it. No, saying Gendo had ordered it would be pushing this too far.

Then he'd need another reason, just to try and get her to Germany. He knew he'd have to talk to her about meeting up with her parents eventually, but figured that he should take the whole thing one step at a time. Convincing her they had to go to Germany was reaching far enough, and no one had ever accused Shinji of being greedy.

''Er, he said that we needed to do it for a synch test.''

''Synch test? We have to go all the way to Germany for a synch test?''

''Yeah, but it'll only take a few hours. Then he promised us the rest of the week to ourselves.''

Her face soured and for a moment Shinji was worried that she had somehow figured out his whole plan, but it thankfully returned to its previous cheerfulness after only a moment. ''So, when do we leave?''

Shinji's fear of Asuka countering his bid to go to Germany past, he spent the rest of the afternoon fending off Asuka's questions and, after she finally seemed pleased with everything, buying tickets online.

---------

Their flight was to leave Tokyo-3 at 11:30 A.M. and arrive in Berlin at 7:05 P.M. local time. Overall, it would be a fourteen and a half-hour flight. While they would spend a great deal of this time asleep, it was going to be a long flight for both of them.

Misato had refused to get involved in the whole affair after she had a brief talk with Shinji, which had revealed to her that he hadn't actually told Asuka his real reasons for wanting to go on the trip. While she knew she was partly to blame for his fearing talking to Asuka about her parents, she was annoyed that he hadn't followed her advice and talked to Asuka about it.

Asuka would be mad when she found out, Misato was sure.

Misato had told Shinji this, and for a brief moment it seemed like he would listen. In order to push him the rest of the way, she had decided to tell Shinji about Asuka's parents right then and there, in order to stop the whole catastrophe before it could begin, but just then the blissfully ignorant redhead had made an appearance. Seeing how much she anticipated the trip and the welcome break from Summer College and synch testing, Misato's resolve had faltered. She could not bring herself to tell Shinji and therefore cancel the trip.

Gendo had not been very happy to hear that two of his three pilots wanted to leave the city. Letting the two of them leave would set a bad precedent, likely making them believe that their remaining in Tokyo-3 was not as crucial as they had been led to believe. Gendo saw little enough of his son as it was. Also, letting the second and third children leave would be unfair to the first, who was not allowed to leave under any circumstances. Rei was too crucial to the plan, in any event that SEELE were to attack.

The problem had been in explaining this to Shinji. Any statement that he did not want to be unfair to Rei would have gotten him a shocked look and, likely, the statement ''Life's not fair,'' from the second child.

Additionally, Gendo actually found himself not minding them leaving, as long as it was only for a short amount of time. His son seemed to be showing an uncharacteristic amount of spine, and stretching out his neck further then Gendo had previously thought possible. While Gendo had often found it necessary to cut his son back down to size during these rare occasions, this time he could see no purpose in doing so. Plus, the two children's psyche could definitely use a break from their constant work and training. Their synch records had begun to slip, though after Shinji had informed Asuka of the trip both of their statistics had improved.

Gendo only put two conditions on the trip; that the two pilots return within a week and that they would not ask him for more leave for another year. After a minor hesitation, Shinji had complied.

So, with Misato and Pen-Pen waving good-bye from the terminal, Shinji and Asuka had boarded the Japan Airlines Boeing 787 _Dreamliner_, set to depart for Germany in under half an hour.

---------

To Asuka the plane ride was a boring but necessary part of the trip. She had brought her MP3 player and a few books. After calling and taking the window seat, she proceeded to jam her earphones in and get lost in the takeoff and flight over Asia, only pausing briefly to look and see how worried Shinji was during takeoff. To her surprise, he handled it fairly well.

To Shinji, the plane ride was hell. Asuka was right next to him, but might as well have been on another planet for all the attention she was paying him.

'Okay, we're on our way to Germany. Now what?'

His brain kicked that around aimlessly for some time.

Finally, he started wondering why he had gone along with her on this trip. He kept telling himself that it was for Asuka's own good, but that didn't mean she would be happy when she found out his real reasons for the trip. He started to wonder if perhaps a continent's distance between the two of them would not have been enough to keep him safe.

Why was he here? Just because it was good for her to go did not mean that it was good for him. Was it because he wanted to get something out of it, because he had some need to see Asuka be happy? Did he want to meet Asuka's parents?

What reason did he have to want to make her be happy? He could see through her outside masks occasionally, and could understand some of the reasons for why she acted like she did, but most of the time she was just a bitch to him. When, not if, she found out, she would be mad at him, possibly attacking him physically, definitely verbally.

All he could answer was that he didn't know. Getting on the flight with her had just been the thing to do. Shinji had mixed feelings on his reasoning for wanting to help her, but knew that it was a "good" reason, whatever it was.

But right now, what was important was how he was going to get in contact with Asuka's mother and father. While the vacation would bring him considerably closer to his goal of seeing Asuka re**-**united with her parents, all the mileage in the world wouldn't matter if he got to Berlin and was unable to find them.

This meant that he had to find out where they lived. Right . . . and the fastest way to do that would be to bring that up with Asuka directly.

Which was definitely not safe.

Now he regretted not asking his father where Asuka's mother lived, not searching in the Magi for an address. His quick thinking had saved him a few times, but may have doomed him to failure in the long run.

Fortunately for Shinji it was a long flight. This gave him a long time to think.

---------

Eureka!

Shinji had a work around.

Turning to Asuka, he asked, ''So, what do you want to do while we're in Germany?''

That didn't work because her MP3-player was still blasting in her ears, but it did get her attention. She turned the music down and Shinji re-asked his question.

''Oh, I dunno. Berlin's a big place. I guess we should drop by NERV-03 at some point and check in.'' Then she turned and looked at him suspiciously. ''Where are we staying at?''

Shinji began to tell her, but she interrupted him. ''We better not be sharing a room, third!''

Shinji blushed slightly, but managed to talk despite himself. ''We're staying at some hotel Misato picked out.''

Asuka swore. ''You let Misato pick out the place? It'll probably be a dump! We're not even there and you've already screwed up the trip.''

''I'm sorry, '' he blurted out without thinking.

''Agh! There you go again, apologizing for everything like it's your fault.''

''But you just said it was my fault . . .''

Asuka scowled at him. He sunk into his chair. Asuka shook her head. ''What am I going to do with you? We're not even there yet and I'm already wondering why I'm on this trip.''

''Show me around Berlin?'' he answered the question hopefully.

She looked at him for a moment, then smiled triumphantly. ''And if I don't?''

''I'd be lost without you.''

Asuka snorted. ''How romantic of you.'' Then she turned her MP3 player back up.

Shinji was lost. That certainly hadn't worked, it only seemed to have pissed her off somehow. He sunk lower into his chair, stuck on finding a way to get Asuka to meet up with her parents. Since his attempt had failed, the whole trip was ruined for him. What was the point of taking Asuka to water if she wouldn't drink?

Unbeknownst to Shinji, Asuka glanced over at him. Seeing that her words had left quite an impression on him, and his chair, she turned down her MP3 player and thought for a minute. Had her words really affected Shinji that much? She had just been joking, after all.

'If saying something like that makes him that down, maybe saying something good . . .'

At first glance, it was a repulsing thought. But, after a bit of consideration, Asuka decided she might as well try and put Shinji in a good mood.

He had been the one to get them the vacation time and Asuka could not deny that she thought that was cool. Even if he had gone and almost ruined the whole thing by picking Berlin, a city that she knew even better than Tokyo-3, as their destination, he had shown an un-characteristic amount of spine in dealing with his father. She liked that.

And, her mind rationalized, she would have to put up with him for the entire trip. If he was depressed for the duration, she would surely kill him. And then she would get in trouble with Misato and everyone else back in Japan.

She glanced over at Shinji again, a quick look that he didn't notice. Was she really about to try and do this? At best, Asuka had been at the receiving end of words of encouragement. She was not well known for helping people's spirits, more of the opposite.

On reflex, she wished she were back in Misato's apartment, so that she could run to her room and slam the door. It was an easy way to end arguments, loud and final. It did not invite anyone to follow her. Whenever she wanted to be alone, it was all just a door slam away.

Having been away for less then a day, she already found herself missing her room. It had been an easy place to retreat to. Right now she wanted to go and hide under her covers. To think about what to do, how to act. She wanted to escape to her safe home.

But on this trip, Asuka was realizing, there couldn't be any of that. She had to go outside those four-walls. Shinji and her were on their way to Germany. Everyone back in Japan would be depending on her to look after him during the trip. He sure couldn't look after himself. If she just found a new safe place and stayed inside of it, Shinji would never survive.

'Great,' part of her thought, 'another burden. Someone the great Asuka Langley Soryu has to protect.'

While one part of her was repulsed by the thought of having to watch out for Shinji, another portion of her welcomed the idea. She would be in control. She would have him all to herself; to tease, to mess with, and to badger. In a lot of ways, Shinji's mood for the entire trip was in her hands.

If she was mean to him, he would be cowardly. If she was accusing, he would become depressed and think everything was his fault. Already, she could see the first signs of both of these.

Fortunately for the both of them, there was an alternative. If she was nice to him, he would be happy. Her attention always did this to people, Asuka gloated to herself. She just had some sort of irresistible charm that Shinji could not fight against.

Now, all she had to do was be nice. 'Nothing extreme,' she thought to herself, 'Don't want the baka to have a heart attack.'

She turned and looked at him openly. His head was leaning down, looking at his old SDAT player. Shinji was so wrapped up in his thoughts that, for a minute, he didn't even notice she was looking at him.

When he did look up, Asuka turned back away, chickening out at the last moment. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him about to return to his previous slump, possibly worse for her brief glance.

'Bite the bullet!' she commanded herself.

Closing her eyes and fully relaxing into her chair, she spoke. ''I guess we could see some museums, if you want, but I think they're really pretty boring.''

Shinji did not immediately brighten as she had hoped, though he did at least respond. ''Whatever you want to see, you know Berlin a lot better than I do.''

'This might be harder than I thought,' she chewed on her lip slightly, just enough that Shinji wouldn't notice.

'What else could they do?'

She ran through a list of attractions in Berlin, mentally listing and filing them away for future use. The trip was for a week, so they would need a lot of things to do. Fortunately, Berlin was a big city.

As she thought of all the important places in Berlin, one particular image stuck in her mind. If Shinji had not been right next to her, she would've immediately frowned. She did not want to think of that place, and wanted even less to go there. But at the same time . . .

She got up.

''Where are you going?''

''Bathroom.''

---------

Asuka locked the door behind her and sat down, brooding.

As much as she didn't want to think about it, she was beginning to realize that she had to visit that place. It had been a long time since she'd seen her, and it wasn't often that she got to visit Germany. Not visiting would almost be a sin.

Hell, it would be a sin.

Still, she searched crazily for excuses not to. Every fiber of her being was intent on not wanting to go, but lacked reason.

The last time she had visited there, she had sworn to herself that she would never cry again. Since then, she had broken that promise quite a few times. Most prominently after the fifteenth angel, Arael, had forced her to remember her previous visit.

With a defeated sigh, she admitted to herself that she had to do it. She would regret it for the rest of her life if she didn't. After all, who knew if Commander Ikari would ever let them leave Tokyo-3 again?

She got up to leave, but then stopped. Thinking of one had brought forth the other.

She really did not want to visit her, but she especially didn't want to visit him. He she really did not want to visit. It made Asuka sick to think of the way he had acted after her death. No, best to not let him even know that she was in Germany. If she had to avoid NERV-Germany for this, and stay as inconspicuous as possible, then so be it. She really did not want to meet up with him, or her step-mother.

Now she could get up and leave.

---------

She sat back down in her seat. Glancing at Shinji, she had to wonder if he had moved since she had left. At her return, he only gave a small glance, but then quickly returned to boring his eyes into his SDAT player.

''I've thought of some places we can go.''

He glanced at her. Somehow, he found out she was going to speak on. He paused his SDAT player and took out the ear buds, turning to face her. ''Yeah . . .''

''Yeah, the autobahn, the capital, a couple museums that shouldn't be **too** boring, and some cool statues.''

''Ah, yeah.''

He turned away from her, down to look at his hands. One of them, the right one, he was tightening and releasing quickly. Asuka turned away as well, bringing her arms up behind her head and reclining her seat ever so slightly. Had she kept looking at Shinji, she would have seen him grit his teeth and set his face, as if steeling himself for something.

Shinji opened his mouth, but Asuka spoke first. ''I think I'm going to visit my mother too.''

Shinji's eyes widened for a second, but then he began blinking profusely. She had just answered the question he had been setting himself up to ask.

''I don't get to Germany much, y'know? Got to do it now, while I've got the chance.''

She glanced over at him. He immediately began nodding. ''What about your father?'' he asked.

Asuka wrinkled up her nose. ''Oh him? I already talked to him, he's out of the country this week. Bad luck, I guess.''

''Oh,'' he said. 'Darnit, bad timing on my part.' If it hadn't been for the fact that he was overjoyed Asuka would get to see her mother this would've sent him into another wave of depression.

''Do you-'' He stopped short, his mouth partially opened, the uncertainty in his eyes making his own confusion evident. He closed and opened his mouth, thinking of the best way to express his question; finally he sighed. ''Would you mind if I went with?''

Asuka chewed on her lip a bit more. This was her business, not Shinji's, and she really didn't want him to find out . . . but having someone to visit her mother with would definitely help, even if it was Shinji. She didn't want to visit her alone.

There was no way she could answer now, that was just the truth. She would have to think on this, it was not going to be an easy decision.

She looked over at Shinji, mentally prodded by the way his expression said that his entire world hung on her next words, like they were all important. Part of her found that really strange, filing it away for future use. Unfortunately for him, she couldn't bring herself to answer quite yet.

She hesitated, then motioned for him to hand her the blanket on the empty seat next to him. Shinji started, then understood what she wanted and handed it to her. Asuka didn't look at his face again, simply taking the blanket and reclining the seat, wrapping herself up and looking out the window for a moment.

Then, just as Shinji gave up hope for an answer, ''We'll see . . . I don't know.''

--------

The past few days had been the sort of days Shinji and Asuka would look back and remember for the rest of their lives. The happy kind of memories, where everything is a blur, where everything is smoothed together until you remember it as perfection, even if you wouldn't have said that during the actual event

Freed from adult supervision, they had gradually opened up and had a great time on the trip. The first few days had been awkward, but once they both realized that the other was having just as hard of a time as they were themselves, walls had begun to be torn down.

Shinji worried about his true reason for the trip at every availability, but Asuka kept him busy most of the time. She could be a handful, especially when he was the only one she knew with her. She demanded almost one-hundred percent of his time.

Asuka easily fell into the role of tour guide, teasing and messing with Shinji at every turn. She didn't_ want _to fake ditch him that one time, but it was just too great of an opportunity. The photos were priceless.

She did not find it funny when he did the same trick on her.

There was no singular event to mark this lowering, just a gradual progression from the forced conversation on the plane to the free flowing talk they now made.

---------

''Ok third child . . . '' Asuka motioned as she walked thru the cobblestone streets, pointing to ancient buildings left and right, and Shinji could see the timeless age and story coming from within the stone and the mortar that held them together. ''I want you to keep up with me . . . I will not slow down unless you ask me and if you get lost you're on your own then, did you lis . . . Baka!''

He had been watching in rapt fascination as Germany wore its riches well: elegant big-city charm intertwined with historic figures forever encased in bronze; small picture-postcard towns that seemed to pop out of older, simpler times with a magical charm one could only find in the fairytales of yore; pagan-inspired harvest festivals, art and culture at every turn, the evergreen pleasures of huge tracts of forest and delightful castles turned museums or school halls.

And how could he forget fine wine and the beer that seemed to be flowing from a never ending fountain, mixed with salty pretzels and milky cheese, peppered flavored ham and heavy spiced meat . . . all of it tingling his senses; all there for him to savor.

Since he had opened his eyes, Germany had consisted of sunny skies and Asuka's incessant shouting for him to hurry up, but the sights were so compelling he just _had_ to stop and gasp at them: Beer gardens and cafes bustling throughout the day; outdoor events and festivals at morning and noon, before the candles were lit to lighten the night and enliven cities and villages

''Hey moron! If you plan on staying there I'm not gonna wait for you!'' He heard the irate redhead scream at him, and as he turned around he catch a flash of red and sprinted towards her, the word "Gomen" already forming on his lips but dying there when the girl turned.

Instead of clear blue eyes, he saw a lively green with brown freckles on them. The girl had surprise written on her face, but was quickly turned into a coquettish grin. She spoke to him in German and he had no words to answer back save for:

''Ich spreche nicht deutsch . . .''

The girl smiled sadly and waved her hand before disappearing in the crowd once her mother had called her and finally Shinji turned around.

Everywhere he turned there were faces, none of them familiar and he began to understand the feeling of being alone in a crowd.

And then he began to ask himself how would he get back? How could he communicate? He had the basic knowledge of English, but his heavily accented speech would make it harder for the folk here.

So he did the only logical thing.

''Asuka!'' he began shouting, earning curious glances from the people around him. He walked down the street and then returned to the place she had been. He walked into the small antique store and looked in every corner for her, always shouting her name in a vain effort to locate her. Finally after what seemed like hours of looking for her, of standing his ground in hopes of her returning to the same place for him and not getting any answer, he was about to walk away with no destination in mind when he noticed a small park with a fountain on it's center, and on the other end a tall man dressed in a policeman's uniform.

As he walked to him and was about to round the fountain, he felt a light tap on his shoulder and turned expecting to see Asuka.

Instead, he found the young girl from before, smiling at him, holding a frozen treat and pushing it into his mouth, before finally moving away and he saw Asuka behind her with a camera rea-

A flash of white blinded him.

The photos were priceless.

---------

''Did you see the look on his face?''

''Yeah, absolutely priceless!''

''That driver would've put even Misato to shame.''

''Yeah,'' Asuka said, ''Think about driving with her on the autobahn!''

Shinji's face turned an interesting shade of green.

---------

Once, when they were in a museum,Shinji had kept in line with their tour until he noticed that his companion had disappeared. Glancing back, he saw she had gone in a different direction and had now come back around the corner and was waving for him to follow her.

With a soft sigh, he began to follow her, knowing that if he kept on going she would be disappointed. 'Tours,' he reflected, 'are not Asuka's thing.'

Turning the corner, he came face to face with a giant painting. He blinked twice, then began blushing profusely, diverting his eyes and eventually turning away from the picture entirely. Asuka was rolling on the floor.

''Shinji, it's just a picture of a naked woman, not a real one!''

Seeing her laugh, he gave a defeated sigh and shook his head, though he could not help but give a small smile and soft chuckle at her merriment.

--------

Inhis modest hotel room, Shinji sighed and put down the phone. He walked over to the door adjoining his and Asuka's hotel room, knocking and waiting for a response.

After a minute he knocked again and, after that failed to get any response, opened the door slightly. Regret was on the other side immediately.

''Ack, pervert!'' Asuka shouted, clad only in a towel, similar bathrobe and slippers, one of which she took off and threw at him. Strangely, Shinji hadn't heard the shower at all.

''Go-gomen!'' he said, ducking the thrown slipper and quickly closing the door, blushing profusely. On the other side, he could hear the other slipped bounce off the door.

''Don't start that again!'' came across from the adjoined room.

''Go . . .'' he trailed off, realizing that he had just been about to say it again. He sighed and lowered himself against the door, eventually sitting at the bottom of it with his legs lying out in front of him.

There was a minute's pause before he heard the sound of Asuka lowering herself to the floor on her side of the door. ''So, what was so important that you needed to barge in here like that?''

Shinji was about to defend himself and say that he hadn't barged in when he realized that, more or less, that was what he had done. Shaking his head slightly, he said, ''I just talked to Ritsuko, it turns out the test has been cancelled.''

Asuka sighed. ''You mean we could've gone somewhere else after all?''

''Yeah, but don't you think this has been fun anyway? I mean, you got to show me around Germany and I got to see some of the town you grew up in.''

''Yeah, I guess it has been fun, and we've still got a day or two left. The U.S. is probably overrated anyway.''

'One less thing on my conscience then,' Shinji thought to himself. ''Good.''

---------

Now they were on their way to visit Asuka's mother.

Asuka's resolve to see her mother had hardened. She knew that she owed it to her mother's memory to see her while she was in Germany. This had to be done, and would be.

But in no way did this mean she wasn't worried about the visit. Shinji did not know about her mother. There was a very high chance that he would find it awkward to go with her. Worse, she now found herself caring about his opinion more than before the trip. She did not want to hurt him in some way.

Nevertheless, she was going to take him with her.

Shinji was nothing but optimistic about visiting Asuka's mother. He had profoundly enjoyed the trip and now knew for sure that he was going to see his original goal fulfilled. Asuka would be happy, Shinji knew he already was.

By bus and following Asuka's direction they had arrived to the outskirts of Berlin, near what Shinji assumed to be a park. They began to walk into it.

One look at Asuka was all it took for Shinji to decide that she was worried about this, he'd built up all his courage during the bus ride, and decided that now was the time to comfort her. He decided he needed to do what he could to sooth her anxiety, even if he had no idea what caused it.

''When was the last time you saw your mother?''

Asuka looked up, surprised. Chewing on her lip in-between words, she said softly, ''It's been a long time.''

Seeing how worried she was, Shinji stopped. Asuka kept walking for a few steps before stopping and turning back to face him. ''Are you sure you want to do this?'' he asked her.

Every piece of Asuka screamed at her to shake her head and say no, to turn around and get back on the bus. She knew she had to do this, but she was worried about how Shinji would react. Perhaps she could come back later, without him. Or just tell him to wait here and go herself.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw movement behind her, a shape that at first gave her a jolt of fear, then recognition and relaxation. She gave a soft smile. ''You go on ahead without me . . . I'll come along in a minute; there's something else I need to do real quick. It's just at the end of the path.''

'That's strange,' Shinji thought. ''Okay, I guess I'll meet you up there then . . .''

He walked past her, trusting that she knew what she was doing. Over a river and through the woods, to what he assumed to be Asuka's mother's house he went.

Asuka walked over to the flower vendor's cart, pulling her wallet out of her purse and offering him the amount of listed euros for a group of healthy flowers. ''Danke, Fraulien,'' he said, tipping his hat to her.

''You know, when I first saw you, you looked exactly like my father.''

''Is that so? Have a good day miss.''

Asuka nodded and began to follow Shinji, inhaling the deep scent of the lilies. 'Had me worried there for a minute, the last thing I want it father to show up now. Not that he would come here . . .'

She scowled, remembering his shameless flirting with his soon to be new wife. How he had barely even spoken to her, barely seemed to want to be near her, except for standing next to her at the procession. How her mother's family had shot him dirty looks and tried to keep her away from him during the whole thing.

Shaking her head, she rid herself of the thoughts momentarily. That had been years ago, now she needed to go catch up to Shinji and visit her mother. She could worry about her father later.

---------

Shinji continued down the path, slightly confused as to how he was supposed to introduce himself to Asuka's mother if Asuka herself wasn't there. 'Maybe I should wait for her,' he thought.

Then he pushed that doubt away. Asuka wouldn't have sent him up here without some sort of reason. 'She must want me to see her mother before she does for some reason.' And if he knew anything about Asuka, it was that disobeying her always had a price. Shinji didn't want to ruin the feeling of tranquility the two of them had enjoyed the entire trip, so he continued down the path.

It wasn't until that he entered the shadow that he looked up and noticed what was blocking his path. After the barest instant, his eyes shot wide open and he sank to the ground, eyes transfixed on the scene.

--------

Devastated, that was how Shinji looked when Asuka found him.

He was kneeling on the ground, looking up at the gravestone with his back facing her. While she could not see his face, she could imagine his facial expression. Wide eyes, a gaping mouth and an expression of shock.

Why had she done this?

What other way was there?

There was no way Asuka could have told him face to face. She just didn't have it in her. No one called her a coward . . . except herself. But even if she was a coward, at least she could accept her limits. There had been no way to tell him face to face, she would just have to rectify the situation from here.

She began to walk towards him, wincing when he sunk down into the ground, his head hanging low and his eyes starring into the ground. He looked destroyed, defeated, devastated. While Asuka knew that finding out that her mother was dead would affect him, she had not predicted it would mean this much to him. She had not imagined that he cared for her that much.

Was it because he cared, or for another reason?

She stopped behind him and slightly to his right. Her gaze left him, turning to focus on her mother's gravestone. Shinji spoke, but Asuka was too focused on the grave to notice whatever it was he said.

'Mother,' she thought, 'this is where your body is. Your mind was in Eva, but now . . .' And the thought made it to her throat, and her throat felt constricted, filled with angst and tears, and she could feel her own lips silently outlining her question. Where is it now? Did it leave Eva? Was it doomed to forever roam the earth? Did you come back here?

The cold black obelisk gave her no answers, just like her Eva always had.

'Silly of me to expect answers,' she thought, 'Mother . . . it's been too long since I visited you last. I'm sorry.'

Then she knelt down next to Shinji and placed the flowers, which she had gotten after she had Shinji go ahead of her, in front of the grave. She closed her eyes and offered a soft prayer for her mother's soul, hoping that wherever it now was, it was happy.

When she opened her eyes, she turned to find Shinji staring at her, eyes wide and with small globs of water forming in them. He opened his mouth and tried to say something, but nothing came out.

Asuka smiled, figuring out what he was trying to say by the way his mouth moved. ''Don't worry baka, I don't hate you.''

Shinji didn't seem to know how to react to this. He just sat there, starring at her, confused expression on his face.

Asuka stood up and began to walk away from the grave, out of Shinji's sight range.

He almost broke down and cried right there, but something about the way Asuka had spoken stopped him. Maybe she really wasn't mad at him, though his mind could not fully understand.

''Hey Shinji!''

Still on his hands and knees, he glanced over his right shoulder at her. She was about twenty feet away, hands on her hips, starring true Asuka daggers at him. ''I'm hungry. Come buy me lunch.''

Shinji looked at her, confusion written all over his face. Sighing to herself and muttering about stupid perverts and what they would do to get her to feel him up, Asuka walked over to him and stretched out her hand, waiting expectantly for Shinji to take it. He grabbed it and was pulled up.

Once up, he cowered, fearing the strike that never came. Instead, once he opened his eyes, he saw Asuka simply staring at him, a half smile/half frown on her face. Her eyes uncertain but true.

Sighing, she playfully pushed him with her shoulder before turning away. ''Come on idiot! I'm starting to get grumpy . . . '' she said as she began to make her way towards the front gate. ''I feel like a good _Abendbrot _with _Schwarzwaldschinken, __Schinken_ and _Brötchen_''_ She turned to look at him and tugged at his hand._

''_C'mon __Schell__! You should never let a lady waiting for her food._''

Shinji couldn't keep himself from laughing and, when she began to walk away while pouting, hurrying after her.

'Maybe the trip isn't ruined,' he thought, 'maybe it's just really beginning.'

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End Neural Clips

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**Author's Notes:**

Major thank you to Eric Blair for his comments on and critique of this chapter, it got a ton better because of him.

Additional thank you to all reviewers: JCMoorehead, Dartz-IRL, one guy, Eric Blair (again), Water-star, Nova (/Anon), miguelangel, Tale Weaver, Tyler Asroc (for the idea to continue, as well as for the reviews), bigguy 1234, ninja fairy909101, aegiszero, Blut und Eisen (for some great style comments), Rising Dragon and to whoever may review this chapter.


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